UpClose & Personal - Arlene Alpert

In the corporate world "treating" clients is called "client satisfaction" or "Customer Service" and in the mental health world "treating" clients has sometimes been dubbed "curing" them. One type of therapy called "Client-Centered" is based on the work of Carl Rogers who had a belief that just listening to patients helped cure them of their "neurosis." Another therapeutic approach is Transactional Analysis developed by Eric Berne, MD who said that helping the client to become aware of the "Ego State" he or she interacted from was helpful. And Thomas Gordon who was the creator of Leader Effectiveness Training took the approach that the way we communicate with others, mainly by letting them know that we are listening to (and understanding) them produced a healthy relationship.

As a massage therapist you have been trained to communicate healing through your touch and through your energy. However, although you believe that you care for your clients and that you are a good communicator, you may not have taken specific communication or psychology classes as part of your training. Because of this lack, there may be times when you encounter situations with clients that you feel inadequate, frustrated or helpless to have the effect you want.

These issues can be with clients who want to be your friend, your date or clients who you think need medical or mental health services. Your concerns may be with clients who are overly demanding, with clients who show up late or who miss their appointments. You can feel over your head when clients ask you for advice about everything from their physical being that is unrelated to your services to their relationship conflicts. Whatever you discover from your clients, you may not have the skills to handle these concerns when they present themselves. It is these situations that I want to address (and help you with).

For the purpose of this article and in order to be brief, I shall start with a general statement: "Listening (without words) can be part of the healing process for your clients when you truly are present." Years ago in my training in Bioenergetic Analysis, I learned the concept of being a "Witness" to the client's process. We practiced on one another and I remember clearly the moment, as the "client" working through an emotional issue with some physical intervention, that I first "felt" the meaning of the word. No words were spoken; yet I knew that the "therapist" was totally with me in experiencing my process. It was an awesome moment. The key as I looked back, was the "therapist" needing nothing from me and only wanting to "be" with me.

The second recommendation is how you communicate verbally when you need to respond. Thomas Gordon who wrote Leadership Effectiveness Training had the right idea when he framed the concept of "Active Listening" and Assertive responses. For example, a client asks you to lunch. You want to keep a professional boundary but don't want to lose the person as a client. You can say, "I hear you would like to go out with me and I appreciate the offer. However (this is a key word and quite powerful at the right moment) I would prefer to keep our relationship on a professional level.

Please call or write the editor with specific questions and I will address them in another article.

Email Arlene Alpert